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I have an apology to make. I apologize to my readers, and to myself for being dishonest. I haven’t been 100% transparent. I know a while back I wrote about my summer bucket list. I left out one huge goal I’ve had for a long time and that would be to find a new job. I didn’t put it in because I work in social media and I didn’t want to be unprofessional. I signed no contracts or non competes stating I couldn’t tweet, blog or use LinkedIn in any capacity that I so desired. But out of respect, I didn’t make a public spectacle of things. But to keep it real I have not been happy in that role since late 2009.

Fear kept me there. Security kept me there. Sometimes things got better but overall they didn’t. I’ve been on interviews and had offers that just weren’t what I wanted. I articulated my unhappiness but nothing changed. I said I was overwhelmed, and I asked for help and nothing changed. I closed up. I sought advice from others who work in social media like The BrokeSocialite and Gyant. They understood my frustrations and encouraged me to go. I got advice from mentors, friends and other professionals who also encouraged me to leave. Even my own coworkers noticed the lack of appreciation and some even spoke up on my behalf. But I kept having doubts, and again that feeling of fear. Can I do this? So last week, something did change. Thursday was my last day. It happened in such a convoluted way I don’t even know where to begin describing it. But after it happened I felt relieved. I was tired of being in limbo and waking up every day to go to a place where I could no longer be productive. I was stressed out to the point where my eyes were looking like this:

Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but they were red from being stressed out. I’m sure there are some other directions I could take with this post and direct blame at people, address the issue of passive aggression and a host of other things. But really, that’s not needed. It’s also not professional or classy and it’s just not me. I’ll just keep all of that to myself. The point is I stayed somewhere I didn’t want to be far too long to the point where it showed. That’s my fault and I couldn’t hide it any longer. I’m not a good liar and I’m not phony. I learned a lot and I reached my potential, and now it’s time for bigger and better. What exactly that bigger and better is….I’ll share it with you.

Have you ever stayed in an unproductive environment out of fear of the unknown?